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10 things that lead to Irresponsibility Issue 389
August 28, 2015
Hi there! ....

Last weekend our family went camping - you can see some photos on my blog, but here's one that gives you an idea of the incredible countryside where I live! Bit hazy - but that is this time of the year.

Pentecost River crossing

It's been a pretty exciting week for my girls this week as Nomi sold her first artwork and Jessica won Trainee of the Year.

This week a scripture which has been central in Peter's and my thinking for many years, came to my mind.

Psalm 37:3 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

My thoughts went to two phrases there: Trust in the Lord - being reminded to trust often happens at a time when trust is wavering. Trust in the Lord when you don't understand, when you are wavering, when you are overwhelmed, when you are confused. Trust in the Lord - he is God.

Do good - doing good is responding to people and circumstances in a way that reflects God's love and goodness.

Sometimes we have to trust God to even be able to respond in a way that reflect Him. Trust God in all your situations this week - He is with you, He is able.

This week I'm sharing a blog post on 10 Things that lead to Irresponsibility, you can read it below or click over and read on my blog.

Live life with your Kids!

10 Things that Lead to Irresponsibility

There are 10 things that lead to irresponsibility.

Of course we all want our children to be responsible – but I find it is the subtle things that hinder us from reaching our goals.  When it comes to our children developing a strong work ethic we need to check to see how the things we do may be affecting their training.

Do we -

  1. Do everything for your children – just let them have fun.
  2. Accept sloppy, tardy work
  3. Accept your children’s lame excuses
  4. Forget to check to see if the task was completed and acceptable
  5. Regularly excuse your children from their responsibilities because something else came up
  6. Don’t carry through on consequences
  7. Protect your children from touch jobs that are challenging or new
  8. Act irresponsibly yourself (you are a role model)
  9. Encourage your children to see how the task will benefit their life (as opposed to someone else’s life)
  10. Encourage friendships that only meet your child’s needs
In the context of family life – each one of these things has a counter-balance.  There may be a good reason for doing one of the above things, there may be a season for one of these things to be happening – but it is when we become characterised by these types of parenting decisions and when these habits are established mindlessly in our parenting that irresponsibility will set in and become a habit of your child’s heart.

We tend to see irresponsibility as an action – or lack thereof – but it dwells firstly in the heart.  Irresponsibility is an attitude – it is an attitude that believes I don’t have to, someone else will, I don’t care.

These attitudes can start growing in a young child though we may see them more clearly in a pre-teen/teen.  If your child already believes these things then you have to re-establish the truth of personal responsibility.  Choose one area where they show a lack of responsibility and address it.  And then work on another.

Remember when we are teaching anything (or re-teaching) our process is:

  • Teach – Not only teach the actions you want but talk about they why behind those actions – the moral truth you want them to understand is responsibility, it is about them being an individual and taking ownership for their thoughts, actions and words.
  • Practice – give them plenty of time to practice the new habits you are working on – remember they aren’t habit just yet – they are just new choices, new actions. Give gentle reminders and encouragements to think about what they are doing.
  • Expect – once you see your child starting to take ownership then you can expect them to do it. At this point it has become a habit.  It is at this point you can add a consequence if they choose to be irresponsible because you know they are able and have chosen not to be responsible.
The role of being a parent is to do ourselves out of a job.  Our job involves teaching, training, helping and encouraging – and as we do our kids take on more responsibility and we take on less.

That last sentence is a key:  We must take on less responsibility in areas where we want our kids to be responsible.    We cannot hover, we have to let go and let them do their life  – that is afterall, what we’ve taught and trained them for.

There are

10 things that lead to irresponsibility.

Other blog posts I've written recently:
Words I live by: God's Grace is Sufficient

Finding a Reliable Passion

Character Notes: Orderliness - Making our life more effective

and I shared as a guest post over at Joy in my Kitchen The Sweet Reward of Speaking Soft Words

My Bookshop

Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.

Heart Focus Parenting book/e-book - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.

Restoring the Heart, Mind and Soul of Christmas Do your Christmas celebrations line up with what you believe? Do your celebrations help your children learn more about Jesus?

This e-book is based on a workshop I held for a couple of years to help families see that Christmas can be a significant tradition in our family life. If we are intentional about how our family celebrates we have the opportunity to use this time to teach our children about Jesus, and his love for each one of us.

My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!

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Until next week

Belinda Letchford
Living life with her kids in Australia!

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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter

Live life with your Kids newsletter is about being a deliberate parent, about enjoying family life and using the opportunities that happen to teach and train your children in righteousness (right living with God). I hope that you will find regular encouragement as you live life with your kids!

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