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School for the Domestically Blind - Issue 295
April 19, 2013
|Hi there! ....
This week was our usual busy – with kids studying in the mornings, and working on various projects in the afternoon. Friday was spent preparing for friends who are staying for 5 days. One of the highlights for me was to sit down with the girls one evening and finish listening to a lecture together. The boys go to Taekwondo twice a week and on one of those evenings the girls and I listen to an audio lecture/sermon together. As we sit and listen we often do our nails or work on a stitchery. I love how this has come about and though we enjoy it we have to work at it to make sure it happens (but isn't that the way of most good things we set out to do!)
Live life with your kids!
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School for the Domestically Blind
My kids have been doing chores since they were about 3 – that is between 10 – 17 years!! And yet, there are still times that they simply don’t see what there is to do. They will follow a list well but I want them to learn to be responsible for possessions so they need to show initiative not just obedience in this area.
Over the next little while I’m running “The school for the Domestic Blind” – and I’m enrolling three of my kids! Basically this means, over the next little while, I’ll be focusing on teaching them to see detail, to notice the little things, to show initiative and responsibility.
For many years I have divided my house into zones and each of my children is responsible for a zone for a week, then we rotate. Our zones are: Kitchen/cook, Bathroom/helper, Laundry and Outside which includes rubbish and animals. We have two chore times throughout the day (it used to be three when they were younger but now twice a day works well, taking into account their comings and goings with life). Their responsibilities are to maintain cleanliness and order on a daily basis as well as to do the weekly deeper cleaning. They are also responsible for the weekly cleaning in their bedroom, as well as all the ironing of their own clothes (when necessary).
Yes, they do a lot and my reasoning is that I want them to know a workload of maintaining a home and their personal possessions. I want them to know the whole skill set, not just helping me with the dishes, rubbish, and making their bed. I also want them to know how these tasks help others so it isn’t just about them looking after their own stuff.
When my kids were young they had to report back to me at the end of their job time and I would ‘inspect’ or check to see that they had indeed finished. This of course was a good time to point out the little things that they had missed. I don’t expect this of them any more but it does mean I am not catching the little things they let go. Which is why we need this training for the domestically blind!
Lessons will include:
#6 here is really the issue of domestic blindness – they need to be taught to see what you see. They need to understand that those things that are conveniently ignored are really a part of their responsibility. I need to hold them accountable to those little things as well as I hold them to the main tasks.
For example – in the kitchen:
If my child didn’t do the dishes one night I would have no difficulty in getting them to do it – and maybe a bit more – the next morning. The dishes are definitely their responsibility and they know it. But what about rinsing out the sink when they are done. It is a little thing – that from a mother’s perspective needs to be done, but from a child’s perspective often gets ignored.
The question is – are they being naughty or are they being ignorant?
Chances are they are being ignorant. Or domestically blind! We need to teach the little things and then expect the little things to be done as much as we expect the big things to be done. But often we teach the big, and expect osmosis to take care of the little things. It doesn’t work that way.
A friend said to me once, that we need to tell our kids what our brain is thinking. If I remember correctly she was talking about the writing process, but it is true for anything we want to teach our kids. We do things automatically, and somehow we have to teach that to our kids. By slowing down and articulating the sequence of thoughts that your brain goes through as you get things done our kids can learn the same processes.
Domestic blindness is simply not exercising the muscles to see what needs to be done. If we follow up behind our kids and do it – or tell them what to do – we are not training their muscles to see it for themselves – we are robbing them of the opportunity to show responsibility.
So for the next little while in our house we’ll be focusing on the little things – what about you? Do you have any little things that get overlooked, ignored, conveniently forgotten? It is up to you to help everyone see the things that need to be done, teach them how to do things, and then let them do it!
During the week I blog at Live Life with Your Kids! This week I shared:
Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.
Heart Focus Parenting book/e-book - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.
Restoring the Heart, Mind and Soul of Christmas Do your Christmas celebrations line up with what you believe? Do your celebrations help your children learn more about Jesus?
This e-book is based on a workshop I held for a couple of years to help families see that Christmas can be a significant tradition in our family life. If we are intentional about how our family celebrates we have the opportunity to use this time to teach our children about Jesus, and his love for each one of us.
Contact me: If you have any comments, questions or content ideas I'd love to hear from you.
Make your comment here.
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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter
Live life with your Kids newsletter is about being a deliberate parent, about enjoying family life and using the opportunities that happen to teach and train your children in righteousness (right living with God). I hope that you will find regular encouragement as you live life with your kids!
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