Back to Back Issues Page
They Break our Heart - Issue 239
February 24, 2012
Hi there! ....


This week was about gently moving from one season to the next. Our family time focus is nearly at an end and it is time to move on to study. We've discussed what our study routine will look like. The kids started to fill in their diaries with their daily to-do lists. Daniel worked on his desk space though the girls still need to do that. Next week our focus time will be about study.

The first key activity for our day is our family meeting which generally happens at 8.00am. By this time the kids should have done all their personal responsibilities and be ready to start the day. At our meeting we spend time in Gods word, we pray and then we discuss our plans for the day. Do you have a key activity that sets the tone for your day?

Live life with your kids!

If you are an Australian reader I would appreciate you reading this special request.



They Break your Heart

As a parent we love our children so deeply – they are the thing we protect the most, treasure the most. And in doing so, we want the best for them. So much so that when they don’t walk in that way it breaks our heart. I’m not talking about the teen who leaves home, or who makes a huge mistake with their life that is so contrary to all that you’ve taught. I’ve not walked that path and though I know it would break your heart our children break our heart with other situations as well. When it comes to our heart there is no big break and little breaks – when our children make foolish choices it breaks our heart.

What to do?

The first thing we want to do is fix them! We want the shake them at times and make them see how wrong they are and how simple it would be if they would just follow the truth! We may walk down this path – but it is a fruitless path. A heart that is set in their sin is not going to see the truth; they may not even want to see the truth. They will certainly switch off from our tirade.

The second thing we want to do is punish them. We may feel embarrassed, frustrated, desperate, discouraged and we reach for our last resort – punish them. This doesn’t work either. They may or may not endure the punishment but all we’ve done is hurt the outside of them – and I don’t mean a spanking here – we may ground them, or take away something we think they treasure but it is all external.

The third thing that can be done is we ignore them. We may send them to their room until the ramifications of their actions are no longer in our face, till our anger subsides, we may not talk to them, or we may banish them from the house. When we have these reactions (to whatever degree) we are just reacting from our anger, from our hurt – we are not dealing with the problem.

The problem is our child’s heart – they are not seeing things from God’s perspective, they have hardened their heart to God’s ways. This is the bottom line – it isn’t about us, it is about our child and God. Does our heart break because they’ve inconvenienced us? Or because they have disobeyed God and walked away from Him?

The first thing we should do when our child breaks our heart is pray.

  • Pray that God would guard and protect your heart – that He will give you a loving heart, a compassionate heart towards your child. That He would take away your frustration, anger and disappointment towards your child, and fill your heart with love as He loves this child, His child.

  • Pray that God would move in this child’s heart. Only the Holy Spirit changes hearts – beseech the Lord – get down on your knees and pray in earnest for God's intervention. As you do this you are recognising that it is a work of God – that you can’t do anything but God is bigger than any situation, God is bigger than your child’s attitude, God is bigger than our own shortfallings.

  • Pray that God would give you wisdom (as He promises He will, James 1:5) God has given you this child, He has given you a love for them, a responsibility for them to teach and train them towards godliness and for that He sent the Holy Spirit to teach, guide and comfort us. Wisdom is the practical application of knowing Jesus. How is knowing Jesus going to change how you now address your child?

Sometimes we need to travail in prayer. That is an old fashion word – in this day and age of instant gratification we want God to do it NOW and that is not always going to happen – we may need to carry this burden to God for a while – don’t put a time limit on God – spend time in His presence praying for your child, praying for yourself, thanking God for your child, thanking God for His love and wisdom. Once we have taken it to the Lord in prayer we can step back into the situation with a different attitude. Our broken heart can change to a heart of peace. Oh for sure, the situation still hurts, that our child could have done such a thing, but there is a peace that surpasses all understanding. Don’t deal with your child till you have that in your heart.

Then you will experience God's peace,
which exceeds anything we can understand.
His peace will guard your hearts and minds
as you live in Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:7 (NLT)


I blog during the week over at Live life with your Kids Blog. My posts this week are:


Have you subscribed to my blog yet? It is easy to subscribe and receive updates via email - check out the right hand side of my blog for the details.



My Bookshop

Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.




Heart Focus Parenting book/e-book - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.





My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!

Back Issues
If you have just subscribed to Live life with your Kids! then you can read back issues here.
Until next week

Belinda Letchford
Living life with her kids in Australia!


Contact me: If you have any comments, questions or content ideas I'd love to hear from you. Make your comment here.

Know somebody who'd like to read this? We really hope that you've enjoyed reading this newsletter. If you think your friends might be interested in taking a look, please feel free to forward it to them.

Haven't subscribed yet? If you're reading this on the recommendation of a friend and would like to receive all the future editions, you can Subscribe here for free


About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
  • Be a Deliberate Parent – Encouragement to continue in purposeful and intentional parenting.
  • Family Life – Spotlights on a particular aspect of family life so we can see the natural opportunities available to us in educating our children.
  • Character Education – Each month we focus on a different character trait – The newsletter will include application for Mums, as well as seeing character training opportunities in everyday life.
  • A Homeschool Thought – Discussing homeschool issues

The newsletter will also keep you updated with all additions to Lifestyle-Homeschool

Back to Back Issues Page