|Back to Back Issues Page|
Dealing with Stress - Issue 218
September 23, 2011
|Hi there! ....
This week has been about working on projects. Projects are tasks that take planning, they take considerable amount of effort and often involve a team of people. When I went to school we did projects – I remember a project on volcanoes. My end product was a 3d model. Family life creates projects too – and our children can learn skills from being involved. This week Jess finished a typesetting project and she fully planned a birthday party – invitations, decorations, food (shopping and cooking). Nomi and Daniel worked on making presents. Joshua researched the possibility of a video project. If we don’t give full value to the skills gained by being involved in such family projects we will cram our children’s days with school work, and short-change them from the life skills that projects will give them.
Live life with your kids!
If you are an Australian reader I would appreciate you reading this special request.
Dealing with Stress
Today I thought I would share how I deal with stress. Stress is a big factor in today’s lifestyle. We all seem to have it at one time or the other, and yet it looks different for each of us and is provoked by different things for different people. It also looks different at different stages of life.
The bottom line for me is regardless of how I feel I still have children to care for so though I try to eliminate all demands on me and my time (for a season), I still need to maintain my basic responsibilities. Here is the process I go through:
First point of check should be (though I often do this last – which is why I get overwhelmed in the first place!!) is to check how I’m looking after myself:
These are basic questions that mothers often push aside and say they don’t have time for and yet when we crumble these are the basic needs and we need to find time for them. We should look after ourselves before it gets to the point where we have to! It is as if when we hit rock bottom we recognise these needs, but had we recognised them beforehand we may not get so overwhelmed in the first place.
Another basic need that I have is to be connected with Peter. I need to tell him where I am at, that I am overwhelmed, that I am struggling and that I have taken these particular steps towards giving myself rest. Often we carry this burden alone and then blame our husbands for not noticing. It is my job to keep him in touch with where I am at. Another aspect is that when we let the time pressures rob us of time together it will also begin to show in my emotional health. I need to bring this to his attention also – not to blame him for any of my situation but rather to bring him into part of the solution. Afterall he does care for me.
Secondly is how I spend my time. When I’m functioning and life is good then lots is doable but when I get overwhelmed I need to pull back and give myself time to regroup, refocus and re-energise. To do this I need to release myself from all except the basics. The basics may look different for each of us and will also likely look different depending on the ages of our children. For me it is generally these few things:
I need to be strong and cancel all other time commitments. This is very hard to do – and you may need your husband or friend to do it for you (as I have at times). But you need to give yourself time to recover. The world will go on. Appointments can be rescheduled. Other opportunities will happen. A week at home, with no outside commitments is refreshing in and of itself!
The third thing is how my children spend their time. When I get overwhelmed I find myself in a quandary – everything in me wants to drop our routine and yet if I do the day goes pear-shaped and I feel even worse. I need to find a balance between giving myself rest and keeping the children occupied (otherwise they just create stuff for me to deal with!) I need to know what is important: for me that is that the children are fitfully occupied but with limited supervision, and that relationships are maintained with harmony. What works for me is:
Sometimes getting out of the house is also a good thing.
Once I have these things happening and I have taken time and opportunity to get physical rest, then I take a little time to look very closely at why I was overwhelmed.
NoteIt must be said, that training our children in obedience, respect and self control will help us cope when these days or seasons of extra stress come. The other thing we can do now maybe when we aren’t feeling so stressed is to get our house in order – to have a place for everything and everything in its place. Maybe this lack of order is the very thing that is stressing you out – then take time out from the rest of your life and get things in order.
We cannot keep going as we are – ignoring our stress, ignoring the things that take their toll on us. We must be wise women and deal with it whatever it may be.
I blog during the week over at Live life with your Kids Blog. This week I posted:
Have you subscribed to my blog yet? It is easy to subscribe and receive updates via email - check out the right hand side of my blog for the details.
Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.
Heart Focus Parenting book/e-book - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.
My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!
Contact me: If you have any comments, questions or content ideas I'd love to hear from you.
Make your comment here.
Know somebody who'd like to read this? We really hope that you've enjoyed reading this newsletter. If you think your friends might be interested in taking a look, please feel free to forward it to them.
Haven't subscribed yet? If you're reading this on the recommendation of a friend and would like to receive all the future editions, you can Subscribe here for free
About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
The newsletter will also keep you updated with all additions to Lifestyle-Homeschool
|Back to Back Issues Page|