|Back to Back Issues Page|
Effective Discipline part 2 - Issue 196
April 15, 2011
|Hi there! ....
This week: One of the things I’ve been reminded of today, even as I prepare this newsletter, is the idea of stress and how that impacts my family. As my children have grown older and able to express themselves differently I have been surprised at the times they’ve seen me as stressed – I thought I was just rushed and busy! There is a difference – stress affects relationships. This is because when we are so focused on another project we don’t take time to notice, care or protect our relationships.
The thing that creates the most stress in my life is when I have too many things all happening at the same time. Even though we like to commend ourselves on our ability to multi-task there does come a time where we have to say – no, I cannot take on one more thing – my day is full!
And this is why my newsletter is late today: too many things all happening in the same time slot and I had to decide what was important.
Live life with your kids!
If you are an Australian reader I would appreciate you reading this special request.
Effective Discipline - Part 2
Last week we looked at our role in the idea of effective discipline. This week we ask ourselves the question: Who is the Boss?
Our children are of a selfish nature, and we can see this happening as early as the toddler years. To them: Everything is about me. The thing is though if we look at any time were we are having an issue with a child it is this selfishness that is rearing its ugly head. So regardless of whether you are dealing with a toddler or a pre-teen you are dealing with selfishness at the core.
The only way we have any input into our children’s lives, the only way we can train them away from selfishness and towards a heart that considers the other person is when our children recognise our authority in their life. This is called submission. Once again regardless of being a toddler or a teen any issue we face we need to have established our right to speak into our children’s lives.
When our children are young we do this (establishing our authority) by simply being the boss. Unfortunately we abdicate our role of authority all too easily. We relinquish our authority when
Selfish people want to rule, our children want to be their own boss, and when we abdicate our authority we are giving them permission to rule (to be the boss) – and they will take it with both hands! Then we have major conflict on our hands when we come to a situation where we will not back down. How much easier it is to maintain our position of authority in the first place.
Why are we in that position? I believe it is a God given role – we are older, wise and more experienced in life than our children and we have the responsibility to ‘grow up’ our children. Who ever thought of giving a junior in a company the decision making power and the cheque book! The privilege of decision making comes with knowledge, discernment and experience.
Now with older children our tactics have to change a little if we haven’t already established our role of authority in their lives. And this is a whole different topic, but ultimately, we have to be able to show them that we are on their side, that we want the best for them. They have to be convinced that we want to use all our experience and wisdom for their benefit. We need to get along side of an older child and help them see that their life would benefit by following our instructions – helping them arrive at a place where they want change too. (But without abdicating our authority – so it is a tricky balance to find.)
Once our children have learnt submission – or recognise our authority in their life we can begin to train in other areas such as life skills, health and safety, spiritual and moral issues.
This week, as you face situations with your children, take a moment to assess their level of submission – ask yourself – “Who is ruling in this situation? Whose will is being crossed and whose will is the strongest?
We need to balance our authority with mercy, forgiveness and benevolence.
So once again we find that effective discipline is still more about me than my child!!
Live life with your Kids Blog
Over the last week or so I've moved my blog so the new address is http://livelifewithyourkids.wordpress.com It is easy to subscribe and receive updates via email - check out the right hand side of my blog for the details.
This week I've written:
Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.
Heart Focus Parenting book/e-book - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.
My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!
If you have just subscribed to Live life with your Kids! then you can read back issues here.
Until next week
Contact me: If you have any comments, questions or content ideas I'd love to hear from you.
Make your comment here.
Know somebody who'd like to read this? We really hope that you've enjoyed reading this newsletter. If you think your friends might be interested in taking a look, please feel free to forward it to them.
Haven't subscribed yet? If you're reading this on the recommendation of a friend and would like to receive all the future editions, you can Subscribe here for free
About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
The newsletter will also keep you updated with all additions to Lifestyle-Homeschool
|Back to Back Issues Page|