Hi there! ....
This week There have been a few situations this week where our children have been able to jump in and be of service to people in the community or to our friends. It is a delight to see them serving this way. This ability to serve others didn’t just happen, they aren’t just “good kids” – on the contrary – their hearts have been fashioned to be available and to see the needs around them, and they have been trained and practiced in the skills necessary to do something about it. When we have weeks like this, when there are such obvious needs around us, it spurs me on to keeping that balance of training happening in our home; training their minds, their bodies, and their life skills.
Live life with your kids!
Seeing Results –
Are we seeing results?
If not, why not and what are we going to do about it?
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time
we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.
We are taught – either consciously or subconsciously by the culture that we live in – that we have to have results. Results matter. Results mean success. Results mean we’ve made it.
As a parent this is daunting – so often we don’t see results of our efforts – does this mean we are a failure? The sublime message of society, gives us that impression. But God doesn’t. God talks about seasons – a time for planting and a time for harvest. He also says if we don’t give up, if we don’t become weary in doing good, at the proper time we will reap a harvest. That’s encouraging.
The first principle is though that we have to plant – the seed has to go in, the farmer has to do the hard work and then the harvest will come. The question we have to ask ourselves is – are we doing the hard work, are we persevering or have we given up?
Second issue for the farmer is that there may not be rain in due season and the harvest will be under threat. I have five key points to look at when we are not getting results – when we are not seeing the change we desire in our kids.
Know your vision, set your goals:
We don’t see change when we don’t know our vision. When we don’t know what we are aiming for we will be spasmodic, erratic and disjointed in anything that we do. We miss the opportunity to build on a foundation. We need to know what we want to teach to our children, and we need to know when we are going to teach it.
We don’t see change when we are inconsistent as we loose ground faster than we gain ground. The more battles our kids win, the weaker they see us and they lose respect for our words, our expectations and even our authority. We lack consistency because we don’t know the “why” behind the things we try to teach or do. We therefore lack conviction. A conviction will motivate consistency.
We need to teach not lecture
We don’t see change when we lecture instead of training. Training gives us the opportunity to instil values in our kid’s hearts. We settle for external conformance and that won’t help them in the long run – they need God’s Word in their heart, so they can make decisions to walk that way for themselves. Remember the sequence of training our children is: model, teach/instruct, practice, and then expect.
We don’t see change when we don’t expect our children to be responsible for the things they have learnt. When we have low expectations that is what we’ll get. When we continue to prompt, remind, encourage, and guide our children in the things they really do know we inhibit them from rising up and being responsible themselves.
Look for true heart change
We don’t see change when we accept the words of an apology and don’t expect a change of attitude and actions. When there is no heart change, when there is no understanding of what was wrong and what would have been right, when there is no intention to change their behaviour accordingly, then we are simply accepting external performance (their saying sorry). The kids will be very comfortable with this standard, and yet in the long run it will not produce the fruit in your child’s life that you so desire. Our children’s repentance needs to change their heart which will change their actions.
So the next time you get frustrated with not seeing change in your child, not seeing results, ask yourself how are you going with these things.
I've updated Easter Stories (and will continue to add thoughts during the coming week); these are the books that we are reading as we head towards our Resurrection Celebrations.
You may also like to read Discipleship, Natural Learning and Unschooling which answers some questions about discipleship homeschooling.
This week I posted my next article on Proverbs 31. She Blesses Others
And I posted some photos of Goings ons at our Place
Blending Life with Lessons e-book - Does your everyday life challenge your homeschool ideas? This is my journey as I discover that it is possible to disciple my children in today's busy lifestyle.
Heart Focus Parenting - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.
My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!
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Until next week
Living life with her kids in Australia!
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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter
I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
- Be a Deliberate Parent – Encouragement to continue in purposeful and intentional parenting.
- Family Life – Spotlights on a particular aspect of family life so we can see the natural opportunities available to us in educating our children.
- Character Education – Each month we focus on a different character trait – The newsletter will include application for Mums, as well as seeing character training opportunities in everyday life.
- A Homeschool Thought – Discussing homeschool issues
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