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Helping Dad be Dad - Live life with your kids - Issue 117
September 05, 2009
Hi there! ....

This week my newsletter is late – sorry about that! I spent the morning putting my son on the plane and then spending time with my other children. We miss Josh already.

This week has been all about getting Josh ready for a trip to Canberra. He is off to Canberra on a Rotary Citizenship Programme. He’s had to learn how to tie a tie, wear winter clothes, learn the ins and outs of a mobile phone and write a very short political statement. So that has all given a different take on our week.

This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day here in Australia – a time to tell our dads that we love them. I don’t do that enough. I love you Dad (and I’ll be telling you in person too!!) When I look back over my life, especially my teenage years it was my relationship with my Dad that kept me; it kept me connected to the family, it kept me connected to God and it kept me in balance with all the other things going on in my life. So thank you Dad.

It is something that I have encouraged Peter in – to build, to specifically and intentionally build his relationship with his girls. Dads and their boys – they have natural opportunities as they work and play sports together to make a connection (just as girls do as we cook, sew and scrapbook together) – yes, I’m being very stereotyped but in most families this is true. Dads need to make an effort to keep those connections with their girls, especially as they grow up (just as Mums need to make an effort to keep those connections with their boys.) So today’s newsletter is how we, as Mums can help Dads build great relationships with their kids.

Live life with your kids!

Helping Dad be Dad

Our children’s relationship with their father is one of the most important relationships they will have. My father was my stability, my security, regardless of what else was going on. Regardless of moving towns and schools, of failing friendships and bad decisions – he was there and I knew it. I want that for each of my children. How can I, as mum, help this to happen?

Love your husband and let it show
Children want to know that mum and dad love each other. That in itself will bring a sense of security to their lives. Children need to see before they believe, so we need to put our love for our spouse in action. Greet each other with a smile, hold hands, take a moment for a hug, spend time talking. Our children will see us doing these things with our girl-friends and they will be making assessments. Mum really loves being with Mrs XYZ, but Dad …..? We need to show our love.

Let go so he can come in
In our heart of hearts we want our husband to have a really good relationship with our kids (afterall they are his kids too!!) but he “doesn’t do it right”. He doesn’t keep peace right, he doesn’t keep order right, he doesn’t keep focus right, he doesn’t ……. The bottom line truth is our husbands will do things differently – they are different people! As mums we need to let go, let go of our methods, let go of our expectations and let dad be dad. One of my friends says to herself, “He loves them, his heart is in the right place.” This serves as a good reminder to keep our perspective; to keep our eyes on the important things. He may not do things your way, but he wants to be involved in his kids lives – how precious.

Build him up
We are all aware of the power of the tongue – we can build up or we can tear down and never more important than when we are talking about relationships. Mums, we have the opportunity to build up our husband to our children – to let them know how wonderful their dad is, to let them know his character, his heart, his love for them.

Keep him informed
If we are the ones who are spending the bulk of the time with our children, then it is our responsibility to keep our husband informed of the things we see in our children’s lives. I’m not just talking about keeping him up to date with all your activities, but more importantly keep him informed of the heart changes going on in your children’s lives. Often we only inform if we want him to do something about it. When this is the level of our communication, we are missing a big deal. We are missing the opportunity to pray together about our children’s hearts. We are missing the opportunity to talk and be on the ‘same page’ when it comes to working on these issues. But most of all we are missing the opportunity for dads to connect with their children’s hearts.

And a word to the dads….
I can’t help but comment dads, that these very strategies work the other way around too!

You can help Mums be Mums by

  • Letting your love show
  • Letting go so she can come in
  • Building her up
  • Keeping her informed

It is so easy to focus on how I’m going to build relationships – let us rise to the challenge of helping each other build strong relationships.

Website Updates

Have you seen my new e-book? Heart Focus Parenting - A heart focused parent will keep their attention on their child's heart for God, instead of on external behaviours.

Do you read my blog? Live life with your Kids Blog is where I jot my thoughts throughout the week and share things happening in our family. You are welcome to visit!

If you have just subscribed to Live life with your Kids! then you can read back issues here.

My Sitemap is a quick reference to all you will find on Lifestyle-Homeschool. I encourage you to have a browse around!

If there are any new additions throughout the week, they will be posted at the Lifestyle Homeschool Blog

Until next week

Belinda Letchford
Living life with her kids in Australia!

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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
  • Be a Deliberate Parent – Encouragement to continue in purposeful and intentional parenting.
  • Family Life is a Resource for Education – Spotlights on a particular aspect of family life so we can see the natural opportunities available to us in educating our children.
  • Character Education – Each month we focus on a different character trait – The newsletter will include application for Mums, as well as seeing character training opportunities in everyday life.
  • A Homeschool Thought – Discussing homeschool issues

The newsletter will also keep you updated with all additions to Lifestyle-Homeschool

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