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Little Foxes that Rob and Destroy - Live life with your kids - Issue 092
February 27, 2009
Hi there! ....

My week: This week has seen the resurrection of our cubby! The poor cubby tucked away in the garden has been caught up in the children growing up, and maybe not needing the cubby quite so much! But this week Nomi and Daniel have cleaned it all up and have spent hours down there in the garden – rain or shine – playing imaginary games and organizing things. It is their own little world. The kids now have plans for this cubby – it is going to become their own little reading nook – complete with cushions and coffee table (not that they drink coffee mind you!) These plans can only take place once the rain stops so until then the cubby remains as a pirate ship, kidnappers den and a castle! I have enjoyed watching them make plans, find solutions and playing together. It is a delight!

Live life with your kids!

Be a Deliberate Parent
The Foxes that Rob and Destroy

There are somedays where everything is an issue, we wake up and we know that today is going to be one of those days. And yet there are other days where we cruise through and everything is a-okay. Unfortunately it is on those cruise days that we let our guard slip and little foxes come to destroy.

Song of Solomon 2:15 “Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.”

My friend Margret and I often wonder at the differences between Monday and Wednesday. We so often have fan-tastic Mondays. Everything is on track – our home shines, our kids obey, the lessons get done, and we have great family time. Monday is the day! But then by Wednesday we are talking about disasters. How can there be so much change in two days. What happens is because Monday was so fantastic we let down our guard, we relax, we coast on Tuesday and the results hit us by Wednesday. We let little foxes in.

The little foxes are the little things that rob that fruit from coming into full maturity. The little foxes rob our families from functioning, as God would have – with peace, joy, harmony, and spiritual and moral growth.

What are the things that stop your family from living this way?

Husband and Wife Relationship This is the first relationship that we need to care for. There are many aspects to a marriage. There’s the

  • I know you and you are my friend
  • The intimate side
  • The parent aspect
  • We have responsibilities
  • We are two people with different gifts and talents
Every aspect of our individual self has a reflection in our marriage. Little foxes can come and nibble away at the fruit in any one area of our life. When you get together, as husband and wife, do you just focus on the children, or on the needs of the house, or your role in the Church? Each one of these aspects are a part of our life, but we need to make sure that we touch base with each other in all aspects of our life. We are to live a life of oneness and that starts by being open and discussing each area of our lives together.

Our Time A little saying that has always stuck with me is, “If I am a stay at home mum, why am I always in the car?” How easy it is to find ourselves over committed. We can be overcommitted as a mum, as a family or our children themselves can be over committed. Each activity that each member of the family is involved in affects the whole family. We need to choose wisely how we spend our time.

It is very hard to train our children if they are never at home. Training on the run isn’t near as effective as training in the peace and privacy of your home. (I am not talking of chastising here but rather giving instruction, setting the standard and helping the children reach it.)

When we are faced with what seems to be a good opportunity we must ask ourselves:

  • How will this affect my family?
  • How else would I spend that time?
  • What are my priorities?

There are plenty of good opportunities, but we must take the God opportunities.

Our Stuff Over the last decade or so, organising our belongings has become an industry in itself. There are books, blogs, websites and even businesses that offer helps in organizing our stuff. This is because we live in an age of excess. We have more than we need. When our things build up around us we are not efficient or effective.

Sometime ago Peter and I discussed if our house was meeting our needs. We then invited our children to add their thoughts. We weren’t looking for an excuse to get a bigger house, but rather to focus on the idea that our possessions are to meet a bigger need than just ownership. We discussed this again just this week – how do our possessions hinder or help the goals we have as a family.

Boundaries To keep appropriate boundaries around our children (and ourselves) is a tool that helps our children (and ourselves) do right most of the time. One little fox that comes into our home is the fox that wants freedom from these boundaries.

Boundaries are put there by God; we all have them, we all need them, we all try to live without them! These are some of our boundaries:

  • Our routine - helps us use our time wisely
  • Our to-do list - helps us stay focused on the priorities
  • Our education goals - helps us keep on track
  • Our budgets - helps use our money wisely
  • Our moral standards – helps our actions be appropriate
Trouble comes when we make decisions outside of these boundaries.

Stop the Foxes How do we protect ourselves and our family from these little foxes?

  • Recognise the foxes– Though I’m mixing metaphors here – the farmer doesn’t just spray for insects without knowing what really is damaging their crops. We need to know what is causing disharmony in our home and then set out to do something about it.
  • Pray – once again the farmer doesn’t do something without knowledge. He researches and finds a solution rather than making a knee-jerk reaction. We need to do the same, except our wisdom needs to come from above. Pray about the symptoms and God will give you a solution.
  • Set your heart – It takes time for a vine to produce the fruit so anxiously anticipated. We need to know that it takes time to fight the foxes in our family, it takes time and effort to stop the foxes from coming back and yet, when we take this time and energy we will harvest the fruit; the fruit of peace, joy, harmony, spiritual and moral growth.

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Until next week

Belinda Letchford
Living life with her kids in Australia!

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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
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