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Wise in Your Own Eyes - Live life with your kids - Issue 074
October 03, 2008
Hi there! ....

This week:

This last week was the first week of school holidays. And yet, we don’t do school so we don’t do school holidays – or so we’ve told our kids!! But we have found the patterns to our life, fall comfortably in line with the term breaks taken by schools so we do change our routine during this time. We need a bit of a break from our studies, we need time to prepare for the next study block and we need time to catch up with friends who go to school, so we have a different routine to accommodate these things – this is life. Actually our study breaks often go for an extra week because we get so busy during the 2 weeks of school holidays that we truly need a break after our break! We still maintain a routine though, a sequence of events. The children are doing about 1 hour of planned study each day. They have had a particular focus for this time. Josh, Jess and Nomi are all working on an Apologetics Speech and their Reading List / Journal. Daniel’s focus is his phonics lessons. The reason I keep this small amount of study/table time is that the children do better in their free time if they have had a disciplined start to their day.

Live life with your kids!

Be a Deliberate Parent
Children who are Wise in their Own Eyes

Sometimes it is the little things that go under the radar that we should be really concerned about. We tend to deal with in your face arguments, temper tantrums, out and out lying, but attitudes now that is another thing. Attitudes are hard to define; they are hard to put a finger on. But the warning is if we don’t deal with the attitudes (the heart) then we will only be dealing with external behaviour, and we will continue to deal with the same external behaviour until the heart is changed.

Do you have a child who

  • Makes decisions for themselves; “I’m just gonna do this”, or they delay obedience till they’ve finished what they are doing (and they feel justified to do so)
  • Asks questions about your life; what you are doing, what you are talking about, who you are talking to? Why do they need to know this? They don’t!
  • Bossy to their siblings; they take over your responsibility, on the surface it looks helpful but they are taking an authority that isn’t theirs
  • Takes over; doesn’t make room for siblings to grow up, focuses on their own abilities, and again looks helpful but they forget that they are a child themselves
  • Hangs around to listen to adult conversation; they just listen to collect information or they add little comments on the side
  • Corrects you in conversation

This child has a wise in your own eyes attitude.

Be not wise in your own eyes;
reverently fear and worship the Lord
and turn [entirely] from evil
Proverbs 3:6

These behaviours are sneaky – we don’t always catch them, we don’t always assess them as a problem. But if we look at what is going on in the heart when these things take place we would be more alert.

  • I am the boss, I don’t need anyone else
  • I am as mature as you, I can therefore do the things you do
  • I am more mature than these other kids, I can tell them what to do
  • I am more able than anyone else here, I’ll take control
  • I am old enough to listen to this conversation,
  • I know more than these people

Ultimately there is an attitude where these children are elevating themselves to positions of authority and maturity, an elevation that they have yet to earn. How do we earn positions of authority and maturity?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

What does it mean to fear the Lord? The second part of our proverb tells us; worship the Lord and turn [entirely] away from evil.

The reverent fear and worshipful awe of the Lord [includes]
the hatred of evil
pride, arrogance
the evil way,
and perverted and twisted speech
Proverbs 8:13

Ultimately our children need to recognize and understand that God is the boss and that we need to submit to Him, to recognize His authority in our lives. Without this recognition our children’s sin nature, the same as any man, will take over - a desire to be self ruled. Submission to God is the key to a wise in your own eyes child.

I believe our role is to disciple our children. Jesus’ last command was to go out and make disciples. Our children are our first round of disciples. The goal of a disciple is to be like their teacher. We don’t want to make our children like us, no, we want them to be like our teacher; Jesus. Our job is to disciple our children to be like Jesus, to encourage them in their walk with God. Everything we do and say in the training of our children must point them to Jesus and their response to Him and never more so than when we are dealing with a wise in your own eyes child.

If we can forget about our role as parent, just for a moment, and consider discipleship in the adult world. How does that happen? First of all there needs to be a relationship. You start sharing your life together. With a desire to be like Christ, you talk about and study the Word of God. You pray together. This is the model Jesus used in discipling his 12 disciples. This is the same model we are to use with our children.

  • build relationship
  • live life together, facing everyday situations
  • talk about Jesus
  • study God’s Word
  • pray together

Everything we say in the training of our children must point them to Jesus and their response to Him. Lecturing doesn’t work – they just switch off so how did Jesus get to the bottom of the heart with the people He spoke to? He asked questions. He took a truth that he wanted them to discover and asked a probing question to help them think it through.

Asking questions is based on the presumption that they have been taught God's Word, that they know what He requires of man.

Prov 3:4 gives us a truth that we can turn into a question to help our children discover what is in their heart, and to then decide how they are going to live. If we live in accordance to God’s ways we shall find favour, good understanding and high esteem in the sight [or judgment] of God and man. Surely, this is something for our children to think about. When we find our children being wise in their own eyes, especially our older children, we can challenge them

Are you finding favor in the sight of God, at the moment?
Are you finding favor in the sight of man, at the moment?
(insert dad, mum, sister, or brother?)
(this is particularly relevant when their attitude causes strife)

Asking such questions will give them cause to pause and think, “what am I doing?” and “Will God be pleased?”

Website Updates

If you are interested in seeing our Study Break Routine visit my blog.

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Belinda Letchford
Living life with her kids in Australia!

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About Live Life with your kids Newsletter I know homeschool mums are busy with lots to read, so I have divided my newsletter into four sections and you will receive one section a week; short but regular newsletters!
  • Be a Deliberate Parent – Encouragement to continue in purposeful and intentional parenting.
  • Family Life is a Resource for Education – Spotlights on a particular aspect of family life so we can see the natural opportunities available to us in educating our children.
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