to Guide and Correct Behaviour
Character, according to the dictionary, is the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life, which determine his or her response regardless of circumstances. It disregards age, position, financial status, race, religion, education, gender, and personality – it is a level playing field – an opportunity, a choice available to every person.
There are two aspects of training. First there is the proactive aspect – we instruct our children of the definition and standard of character, that is, they become aware of what it means to live a life of character in our family.
Secondly there is the corrective side; when our children display that negtive behaivour and it becomes obvious we have to train them, guide them, and correct them till they understand the right thing to do. Once they know then we still have to continue to give them practice, practice and practice till they start to choose to do the right thing.
It is all overwhelming!
When we look at negative behaviour in our children it can be overwhelming, we often don’t know where to start. I have found that by looking at negative behaviour as an absence of character it gives me a good start at finding the problem.
Some of the negative behaviours that we experience in our family would be:
- Destructive actions
How do we “fix” these issues? Well for a start, it is not our job to fix our children. It is our job to show our children that they can choose to do right for themselves, that they can make right choices.
But in the meantime we may need to draw up a “battle plan” to help our children deal with a root problem, a sin issue, a major lack of rightness in a particular area of their life. This is the Reactive (Corrective) side to training.
I suggest that you write a list of all the negative behaviours that you see in your children that you are concerned about. Maybe limit it to the five worse – the five that frustrate you the most. Is there a negative character trait attached to such behaviour? Now write next to each behaviour a positive character trait that is obviously missing in order for the child to be acting that way.
will give you some examples.
Once you have done this you have really only diagnosed a problem. You are on the way to developing a battle plan to help you as you help your child make right choices, regardless of the situations he or she may find themselves in. There is of course more – how do we teach the children to make these choices, what do we do when they don’t etc etc etc.
This exercise is purely helping to remove that overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to do next – it is the first step in drawing up a Training plan.
Live life with your kids!
Written by Belinda Letchford,
Why Character Training?
Discover why this is so important to your child's education.
How to start Character Training?
Discover ways to approach this type of training in your family.
Praise our children
We need to give our children praise – not for their achievements but for the character that they display.